In the Beginning
Entering fatherhood is a life changing event. Your time, your goals, your hopes and your dreams stop being just your own. With Fatherhood comes great responsibility. Many men don't understand their new role as a father. They don't know what to do when they hold a baby. They don't know what do to when the baby cries. In fact, during pregnancy many men have difficulty coming to grip with the idea that they are going to be a father. Fatherhood does not really crystallize until the birth of the baby. It is when the baby if finally born that most fathers start to understand their new role.
Everything I know about being a father I learned from growing up with my father. While in retrospect, this turns out to be a large amount of good information, the idea of facing a new baby and being responsible for them scared me. I didn't feel like I knew enough. The good news is that all of my concerns were normal. In other words, no matter how much you may know, you don't feel like you know enough. The fear and worry is normal for anyone entering fatherhood.
OK. Feeling this way is normal. I know that today, but I didn't know that then. My next question became what to do about it.
My reaction was to try and soak up as much information on parenting and fatherhood as I could find. I looked for books at bookstores and online on the subject of fatherhood. I went to all of my wife's doctor appointments and all of her sonograms. I went to as many prenatal classes as my wife wanted. I even signed up for "father boot camp", a class for just fathers. This class introduces you to other men who have the same concerns you do. It also teaches important things like how to change a diaper and what your wife will need in the form of support when she brings the baby home from the hospital.
As it turns out, taking prenatal classes with my wife turned out to be a very good idea. These classes allows you time to adjust to the fact that there really is a baby coming into your life. It also helps give you some idea what to expect when the baby does come, and most men need to know what is coming. The birth of your child is when the emotions of being a dad and entering into fatherhood comes crashing home. I had never realized how proud I could be of anything or anyone until the birth of my little girl. I didn't understand until I held my daughter how much I can care about someone else in this world.
When you look at your tiny baby you will realize that your baby is vulnerable and dependent upon you for support. At the same time you now have a new appreciation for your wife's strength, courage, and pain tolerance. After watching your wife give birth, and seeing your little baby come into the world, you will find that you are willing to make the sacrifices and the changes needed to accommodate the needs of your family. You will also find that no description of the event before hand does justice to the experience of seeing your child born. When I asked my best friend why he didn't tell be before hand how it felt to become a father, he simply replied "You would not have believed me anyway."
This month my little girl is three years, 7 months old. My little boy is 19 months old. They are growing up so fast. They are the reason I am writing this blog.
Everything I know about being a father I learned from growing up with my father. While in retrospect, this turns out to be a large amount of good information, the idea of facing a new baby and being responsible for them scared me. I didn't feel like I knew enough. The good news is that all of my concerns were normal. In other words, no matter how much you may know, you don't feel like you know enough. The fear and worry is normal for anyone entering fatherhood.
OK. Feeling this way is normal. I know that today, but I didn't know that then. My next question became what to do about it.
My reaction was to try and soak up as much information on parenting and fatherhood as I could find. I looked for books at bookstores and online on the subject of fatherhood. I went to all of my wife's doctor appointments and all of her sonograms. I went to as many prenatal classes as my wife wanted. I even signed up for "father boot camp", a class for just fathers. This class introduces you to other men who have the same concerns you do. It also teaches important things like how to change a diaper and what your wife will need in the form of support when she brings the baby home from the hospital.
As it turns out, taking prenatal classes with my wife turned out to be a very good idea. These classes allows you time to adjust to the fact that there really is a baby coming into your life. It also helps give you some idea what to expect when the baby does come, and most men need to know what is coming. The birth of your child is when the emotions of being a dad and entering into fatherhood comes crashing home. I had never realized how proud I could be of anything or anyone until the birth of my little girl. I didn't understand until I held my daughter how much I can care about someone else in this world.
When you look at your tiny baby you will realize that your baby is vulnerable and dependent upon you for support. At the same time you now have a new appreciation for your wife's strength, courage, and pain tolerance. After watching your wife give birth, and seeing your little baby come into the world, you will find that you are willing to make the sacrifices and the changes needed to accommodate the needs of your family. You will also find that no description of the event before hand does justice to the experience of seeing your child born. When I asked my best friend why he didn't tell be before hand how it felt to become a father, he simply replied "You would not have believed me anyway."
This month my little girl is three years, 7 months old. My little boy is 19 months old. They are growing up so fast. They are the reason I am writing this blog.
posted by William E Petersen at 5:00 PM
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